Love Hurts

I was watching an episode of Marriage Boot Camp and Dr. Ish said something that made me start to think. He said, “love hurts”. That was such an aha moment for me! Over the years, I’ve learned a hard lesson. Love hurts. But is that really what I was learning?

You see, I’ve experienced a lot of pain and suffering from “love”. Most of my relationships had a season (or seasons 🙄🤦🏽‍♀️) of heartache and pain for me. I’ve watched friends and family members go through things that had my blood pressure sky high and ready to knock some people out. Whether it was due to physical abuse, mental abuse, emotional abuse, or just a strange situation, some type of pain occurred. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve never expected a perfect relationship for me or anyone else, it’s just that I truly believe somethings are simply unacceptable! Like nobody should have to be subjected to infidelity, violence, disrespect, theft, feeling invisible, or anything else that can be harmful to an individual. But the reality is that it happens.

So yeah, like I said, I was learning that love hurts. Or was I? Now that I think about it, I wasn’t. In actuality, I was learning that a lack of love or the manipulation of love is what really hurts! It’s when people don’t know how to properly display their love for you or themselves or when they purposely set out to misuse love for their own personal gain, that we so often see people being hurt in the name of love.

There’s a million different reasons why people can and do hurt others. None are acceptable. I’m sorry that your mother or your ex abused you every chance that they got. I’m sorry that you didn’t see a successful and healthy relationship growing up. I’m sorry that you don’t trust people and that you have to get them before they get you. I’ve had people do some pretty awful things to me and I’ve wanted nothing more than to “get even”! But you see, you’ve gotta grow beyond the pain that you’ve experienced. You can’t allow the hurtful things that you’ve experienced to control your life or your way of being. If you let anything control you, you’ll find yourself in a whirlwind of trouble. You must take control of your own life. Use those horrible experiences as reminder of what not to accept in the future. Also, use them as a guide to help you to treat other people better.

Now that I’ve grown in my life experiences and spiritually, I can tell you for sure what love is. The New International Version of the Bible describes it very plainly for us. Corinthians 13:4-8 tells us that, 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves. 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

Friends, Romans, Catholics (lol I just think this sounds cool), but naw seriously, everyone, we have to do better! We can’t keep mistreating each other. We can’t continue to accept less than loving and respectful treatment of ourselves. I challenge you to really read the Biblical reference that I gave about love. Meditate on it. Really get a good understanding of it. Then take inventory of the people and situations in your life. Are you demonstrating that? Are you being handled that way? If so, that’s great and I sincerely hope that it continues! If not, well, you’ve got some work to do and you have the power to make positive changes! The times are getting crazier and more traumatic every day. It’s so important to have YOUR people, be people who are good to and for you! I don’t care what you’ve been told before, but hear me, and hear me clearly. Love does NOT hurt, love heals! I love y’all!

❤️MrR❤️

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