I’m Back, I Think

Hey y’all! I know it’s been a minute, but I’m back!! At least I think I am.🤔😅

I bet you’re probably wondering where I’ve been, and I have some answers. Some I won’t share just yet, but others I will.

Aight so, for quite some time, I’ve been in such a battle. I’ve been in such a dark place. Like not one that I asked for, not one that I want, not one that I enjoy. It’s sucks. It’s hard. It’s ugly. It’s lonely. It’s frustrating. It feels like there’s no way out.

I haven’t felt like I had anything to say, but in fact I have so much to say. I haven’t felt like anyone cared about or wanted to hear what I’ve had to say. I felt like what I was going through, made what I had to say irrelevant. I felt like it cancelled me out from everything actually. Like how can I serve in ministry when I’m struggling to get out of bed everyday? How can I help my clients when I’m just tryna keep it together every day? How can I show up for others when some days I don’t even get out of bed or shower?

So here’s the thing, I’ve been super depressed y’all. But not only have I been depressed, the enemy has really been in my ear. He’s been telling me that it will always be like this and that my life doesn’t matter. Like girl just go ahead and off yourself, not a soul is gonna miss you. Your impact ain’t nothing that’s helping anyone. Just go right ahead and check right on out.

Last week, I went to the Women’s retreat for my church. To say it was awesome is an understatement. It left me feeling ready to come back and conquer what was to come. However, I had no clue what I would be facing. As if the depression hasn’t bad enough, last week, two traumatic events happened to me, just three days apart. So you can only imagine how now I’m just completely like bruh, I have no place here!

Well actually, I think that’s all I have in me right now. I’ll get back with y’all soon. I’ll tell y’all about the first event soon, the other, it’s probably gonna take me some time honestly. But I’ll talk to y’all soon.

Love,

❤️MrR❤️

❤️