Hi beautiful.

Welcome to my blog. Here you'll find my thoughts on a variety of different things. Hope you enjoy the walk in the park! P.S. this is NOT SEXUALLY EXPLICIT! Simply about me not being a VIRGIN to the experiences I've encountered in life.

It's Time

It's Time

Have y’all ever heard the saying, “Something Gone and NOTHING Missing”? Yes? No? Ok!? Well just in case you haven’t, it simply means something has been taken away, but you’re not lacking anything!

You ever been in a situation that you just KNEW wasn’t the right one for you? But instead of exiting ASAP, you just kept on riding the wave, tryna be a good sport? Yeah, don’t do that. If you know it serves you no purpose or your season is up, leave! Know when it’s your time!

Let me tell y’all how me not taking my own advice, has me writing this, kinda really pissed, kinda shocked, kinda grateful, and yeah I don’t know what else I’m feeling, but I’ll explore it more later. 

So y’all remember how I told y’all about my job and how nasty they were during the time of my surgery right?? You know telling me to reschedule because it was happening at the most inconvenient time and it wasn’t that serious. Oh yeah, and let’s not forget that they can’t secure my job if I use all of my leave and I can’t use FMLA (even though I never asked to use it). Well they’re at it again. 😒

So this week (I held off on posting this until it was official, so this was really like a month ago) they complained because I received two voicemails. Long story short, I take calls from doctors/nurses who have questions regarding mental/behavioral health issues for their patients. We are NOT a hotline, which means we are NOT a crisis line, which means there are no emergency calls coming to me. I retrieved each voicemail, and handled the request accordingly, within our 24-hour turnaround time frame. Didn’t miss out on helping anyone, didn’t mess up the request, none of that! But they don’t like it when you don’t take the phone to the bathroom with you (that’s how I missed the calls). How dare I try to relieve my body in peace!? Who do I think I am!? Why do I think I get any privacy!? I don’t get a lunch break EVER, so why would I ever think using the bathroom and not taking the work phone with me was ok!?


So on December 7th, my supervisor sent me an email asking to meet the next morning at 9:15. That’s weird because 1. She’s never there at 5:04pm and 2. She never schedules meetings with me like that. So I responded and was like yup sure thing. But, I had a funny feeling about it, because you know, I just said it was weird. So I talked to one of my best friends and one of my cousins about it. During the conversations, I’m like y’all what if they’re tryna fire me. I said it jokingly but as soon as I let it come out of my mouth, I was like oop, I’m not joking I’m serious! They’re both like no, don’t say that, that’s not it. BUT, when something is in your spirit, you just KNOW! So i acknowledged what I felt but didn’t let it have me feeling some type of way or anything. 

The next day comes. I drop my car off to the dealership to get some things done and get my friend to give me a ride to work. Soooo I get to work and he’s like do you have any idea what the meeting is about? I’m like naw, nothing has happened so I don’t know. We keep talking and I’m like aight let me go in now. 

I get settled in my office and then head over to my supervisor’s office. She tells me about her weekend that she has coming up. Then she proceeds to say well so you know your YEAR probation is coming to an end next month and there are certain standards that you have to meet and you didn’t pass your probation because you don’t work independently enough. *me, I start to become a little puzzled* Is this a joke? Is she for real? Next thing she says is a kicker: so you won’t be kept onboard beyond your year probation mark. *now I’m stuck between “lol” and “is this girl serious right now”* Ok, I gather my thoughts and ask well in what area am I not working independently enough in? Seeing as though I do ALL of my assignments alone, I was CONFUSED! Now this is the REAL kicker, shorty holla out some, well I DON’T KNOW, this is just what I was told and the “other lady” said I have to relay the information. How in the hell are you telling me two and half weeks before Christmas, that 9 days into the new year will be my last day but you, my supervisor, don’t know what area I’m not working independently enough in!? See now you’re playing with me. The leaving part didn’t bother me, because I had already known my time was up because I felt so unfulfilled there. I knew God wanted me somewhere else but I was trying to make sure that they would be good before I made my exit. The part that was angering me was the fact that you say “they” say I’m not working independently enough, but can’t articulate what area I’m weak in and having trouble operating in independently. Stop insulting my intelligence because you know just as well as I do, that what you’re saying is foolishness. My "I've had it up to here" meter was through the roof! So she tells me to take the day off and decide if I want to just wait until January 9th to leave or if I want to resign before then. So I leave her office and call my friend to ask him to come back and get me. Crazy thing is, he never left. You see how God works, even in the small things He’s there making sure that we are covered! 

So as we’re riding to my house and talking, the dealership calls. They tell me that the work that I thought was going to be a $200 job is going to be a $700 job because my shocks are leaking! Ok, so I’ve really gotta be being punked right now!? Remember, I said all of this is happening two and a half weeks before Christmas! So I’m having a very human moment and I get pissed even more. I’m like bruh what are you doing God!? Why are you letting all of this happen!?

The weekend goes by and after sitting with my feelings and talking to my friend, I feel at peace. Although I knew it, I was struggling with being ok with it being my time to leave because of how they handled me. But I was able to realize that it wasn’t about them, it was about me and I wasn’t moving fast enough, so God had someone else show me that it was time! I decided to stay the whole duration of my time, but I wanted to have a conversation with the “other lady” who my supervisor referenced in our meeting, you know because maybe she could tell me what area I didn’t work independently enough in. 🤷🏽‍♀️🙄

So I go into the meeting with my supervisor and the “other lady”. She’s like I understand you have some questions for me? So, I say yes, and explain to her what was told to me on Friday and that I just wondered what area they were referring to. You see, I wasn’t there to debate the decision on not keeping me beyond my probation, because baby, my time was up! But what I won’t do, is allow anyone to lie on me, so I needed clarity on what area I was so called not working independently enough in! I got a few words out and it’s like I was suddenly sitting in the room with Satan himself! The “other lady” became so nasty and condescending towards me. Kept interrupting me and wouldn’t let me finish my statement. Then she proceeded to tell me that the decision is made and she doesn’t have to tell me why! So I chuckle (to keep myself operating in a professional manner) and kindly ask if I’m allowed to finish my statement now since I was so rudely interrupted. She proceeded to tell me that if I didn’t finish my job through my time there, without attitude, because I have a bad attitude, they would fire me before my time was up. Now at this point I’m FLABBERGASTED because this woman has NEVER worked with me. The only time she’s met with me was my very first day! Other than that, all we did was exchange salutations if we passed one another in the hallway. She doesn’t know me so how could she make such a negative statement about me!? So I turn to my supervisor and I’m like wait a minute, you just spoke with me privately. You were speaking so highly of me, saying how I always come to work, do my job, and have a positive attitude! Can you repeat that here?! Shorty was quiet as a church mouse honey! I’m grateful for that though! In our private meeting, she told me she fought so hard for me, “behind my back”, in the meeting with the “other lady”. I knew she wasn’t telling the truth when she said that to me the previous Friday and her silence in front of my face confirmed that! So the “other lady”, in her nasty demeanor, abruptly ends the meeting. She didn’t like the fact that this young, educated, African American woman, came in and challenged the  lack of information that she provided, on something that was going to change my employment status. Nope, she expected me to be a good little girl and just say yes ma’am. NO MA’AM, not over here! Chile I thank God for CHANGE because I could have matched her nasty and made her regret ever opening her mouth to me in such a disgusting manner, but my God said no! (Lol some FMO people will get that my God said no reference because this guy says, “my God says yes”, at church.) So as I’m leaving, she tells me supervisor to stay in her office. 

I go to my office and start my work for the day. About a hour or so later, my supervisor comes in and is like, there’s been a change, “the other lady” wants you to complete an offsite assignment for the duration of your time here. So I’ll be taking your badge, work phone, and work laptop today. Lol oh, ok! So I pack my belongings up and head on home. 

You see, the enemy is a strategist and will always try his best to hurt you! Although the “other lady” thought she was setting me up for failure, little did she know, God was going to quickly turn that thing for my good! What she didn’t know was that by her not wanting me there, I was able to go out and do my side hustle during the day as well! So while they were still paying me my regular salary, I was able to go out and earn even more during the days where I would have been sitting in the office from 9-5! So thank you for being that way towards me because it was a BLESSING! I didn’t have to stress about Christmas gifts, the higher than expected dealership bill, or having to pay house taxes because guess what, MY GOD STEPPED IN AND SUPPLIED MY NEEDS!

Even though I resented this situation at first, I learned that I am powerful! Powerful because I have learned to control my words, even when someone is being nasty to me. Powerful because me speaking up for myself, in a respectful manner, can make someone so uncomfortable that you’ll try to hurt me, but really set my blessing in motion because I’m already in the proper position. Powerful because I can hold my head high and thank them for propelling me into my destiny. Powerful because I trust and believe that God has ordained and orchestrated each and every step of my life, so if He allows it, He has a purpose for it. Powerful because I am finally free to walk in my destiny. All in all, when God tells you to move, listen because He’s tryin to move you closer to your destiny. Don’t worry about others, just do your part and operate in decency and in order, and He will take care of the rest! 



Dear younger Maya Reneé,

Dear younger Maya Reneé,

Outta Commission

Outta Commission