Hi beautiful.

Welcome to my blog. Here you'll find my thoughts on a variety of different things. Hope you enjoy the walk in the park! P.S. this is NOT SEXUALLY EXPLICIT! Simply about me not being a VIRGIN to the experiences I've encountered in life.

Don't Ever Call Me Again!

Don't Ever Call Me Again!

Uh oh?! Who did what!? Why can't they call you ever again!?

Sooooo it's August the month after my break up with, well his name isn't important, but yeah it was after our break up. I'm causally talking to two of my homies about an upcoming event that we're all going to. In the conversation, I state that the break up has occurred (one was already aware and the other wasn't).

One of the homies then texts me individually and asks if I'm ready to mingle. I assume he's tryna hook me up with one of his lame homeboys. Naw I'm good playa I don't need to interact with any of your homeboys, who don't really know Christ and kinda sorta follow Him by following you as you follow Christ. Naw bruh, I'm good! He then goes to say, wait naw I'm talking about ME not anyone of my homeboys. 😳🤔 wait what!? YOU would be interested in mingling with ME?!

Now before you go thinking he's some super star or something, he's not lol. There's just a wow factor that exists for me, for several reasons. But I of course, say no, I don't wanna mingle and keep it moving. He's like cool hit me when you're ready to mingle. I hit him the next day on some random stuff that I needed help with. Sorry sir still not ready to mingle lol.

*time goes on*

Well the day of the event has arrived. I go late. I'm secretly hoping he's already there. I don't know why but I'm nervous, but I really just wanna lay my eyes on him! I walk in. He's not there yet. Whew, although I did want to see him, I can now breathe for a second. Time passes, I'm eating, talking with the others, just having an overall good time! Uh oh. He walks in! But my back is towards the door. I wanna turn around sooooo bad but I just play it cool. I wait until he's closer. I greet him with a regular ol "hey" and keep talking to the others.

The night continues. He starts texting me 😅🤗 uh oh ! Why!?! Doesn't he know that if he says too much he's gonna break me!? I mean chile when I tell you he was looking like the sexiest piece of chocolate I've ever seen 😜😜😜 mmm! But wait! Can people see me sweating? Can they see my blushing? Can they see who I'm texting? Can they see me in a totally different world than the one I'm supposed to be in with them? What is going on? What am I feeling!? So he tells me I look cute and asks am I ready to mingle. I play it off and say no but whole time I just wish I could run over and snuggle up under him wit his fine self.

Wait! Snap out of it Maya! You're a thug (not really but you don't allow guys to get to you and especially, not him)! This is weird. I've always thought he was attractive but that's it. Never put anymore thought into it, for a couple reasons. 1. He's always had a girlfriend as long as I've known him. 2. He used to date someone I was cool with. I mean me personally, I don't care about that type of thing, but other people do. 3. I've always been doing my own thing. But something's happening, I'm intrigued. So I cut the texting short and tell him I'll holla at him tomorrow.

I'm too afraid to text so I don't. He doesn't text either. 🤔

 A couple weeks go by.

He FINALLY hits me up! It's his birthday but I lowkey forgot but lowkey knew it. We chop it up for a second. He asks if I want to go for a walk at the harbor. I LOVE the harbor! I would loveeeeeee to go for a walk with him and chop it up there. But I say no. I suggest walking around my neighborhood instead cuz that somehow makes it feel less formal to me. So he's here. Do you hear me?! HE IS RIGHT OUTSIDE OF MY HOUSE 😱

I head outside and BAM it's happening! We're walking. We're talking. He's sharing who he is. Just raw and vulnerable, authentic sharing is going on! I'm enjoying it! We end the walk and go to the playground to continue talking. I purposely sit far away from him so that I won't be tempted to touch him, cuz y'all know I said he's the sexiest piece of chocolate that I've seen!!! AND NO, not touch him in a sexual way either, I just like to touch people I'm kinda digging or digging. He asked me why I sat so far away and I'm just like oh no reason I just sat over here 🙄 we continue vibing and it's getting late so we call it a night. So when we're walking back to my house, to go our separate ways, he asked if this was gonna be our first and last date or if we would have more? Pause! It's NOT a date! 😅 I just wanted to see what you wanted from me....oh and I just wanted to be around you and talk to you. So what do I do?! I tell him to never call me again 🙄


He doesn't reach out to me.




Because I told him to never call me again! 😫😫😫

It's been almost a week. Ok, I'm over it! I wanna talk to him! I want to be around him. Soooo I stopped being such a punk and I reached out to him. I kept reaching out until he knew I wanted him to continue reaching out to me.

We start talking frequently and it's crazy! Like we literally just CLICK! Like I've known you my whole life and you've been my best friend since Pre-K type of just click. Our conversations have never been short and dry! They've always been interesting and filled with substance!!! We hang out again and it's like yo this chemistry is AMAZING! I know what you're thinking, and NO it's not the physical stuff that I'm referring to. I mean him the man, me the woman, we're dope! Like super dope individuals so we have a great time together! We laugh! We joke! We have serious talks! We raise questions! We encourage each other to go after our dreams and to be the best versions of ourselves. Like why are we just now REALLY connecting!? Where have you been all my life!? Oh yeah that's right, caught up doing all type of foolishness 😒 lol. But it wasn't just you, I was caught up in some foolishness too. 🤷🏽‍♀️ but hey we live and we learn. All those experiences have helped us to grow and because of that, we connect on an even deeper level now. Because of all of that, we're now such good friends.

Crazy how I never saw myself here but I wouldn't trade it for the world! I literally have like the best friend ever now! Of course I know it takes time to really build a super solid friendship and stuff but bruh, believe me when I say, this has been nothing short of AMAZING!

Moral of the story is, never be afraid to experience something genuine. Don't let past situations stop you from doing exactly what you want to do. If you want to talk to someone, do it. If you want to spend time with someone, do it. If you love them, make it known! If you want them, tell them, but don't just tell them, SHOW them! Let your actions and your words match! But please don't just apply this to your connections with people, apply it to things just for you as well! If you want to take that job in a new state, do it. If you want to take that trip, do it. If you want to buy that outfit, do it. If you want to pamper yourself, do it. If you want to show your appreciation for someone, do it. If you want to go back to school, do it. TAKE THE LEAP OF FAITH! Never EVER be afraid to do what feels right to and for YOU!


Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Moe!

Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Moe!

Comparison: A Super HORRIBLE Trick of the enemy!

Comparison: A Super HORRIBLE Trick of the enemy!