Real Love, I Want that Old Thing Back!
So I came across a Facebook post that said, "should a man still date when he's broke and struggling?".
Hmm this post has a lot of comments.
Ok, let me just see what the people have to say.
Yeah I started feeling alllllllllll that!
People had sooooo many negative things to say and it just completely threw me for a loop! I mean there were a couple comments throughout the thread that were supportive, but most were not. The comments were so alarming to me.
Let me a share a couple of the comments that I read because they really had me puzzled! “Logic says if you don’t have both time and money to waste, don’t date. Rich or poor.” “I don’t think so because he can’t bring anything to the table except broke && struggling. Not saying that a female wouldn’t date him. But you should reflect what you wanna attract.”
Ok let’s address the “logic says” comment. 🤦🏽♀️🙄 NONE of us have time or money to WASTE! Not a single one of us! You want to know why!? We are ALL living on BORROWED time and every single one of us will DIE one day! We are here to make the best of each and every day! None of us has money to waste because we have to work for what we get and if we don’t, it will surely run out! Rich or poor, you’re gonna die. Rich or poor, you’ll lose all of your money if you don’t manage it correctly and ensure that you’re still bringing in more after spending. Now “broke && struggling” 😫 I just can’t! If all that man has to offer is money, then SIS you have a very big problem on your hands! If he doesn’t have money, then he’s not a man right!? Wrong! There’s so much more to a man than what’s in his wallet! But more importantly why are you so worried about HIS money?! What’s in YOUR wallet? Y’all ain’t married so his money ain’t yours anyway! What about his character? His spiritual beliefs? His goals? His family history? His desires? His fears? His conflict resolution? Does any of that matter?
What I noticed from the comments is that some of y'all are some of the most shallow people I have ever seen bruh! So many people were saying no. Like why? Why is money so substantial and not who the man actually is? If a man isn't where he would like to be, or better yet, where you think he should be, financially, that cancels him out?! Do you know how foolish that sounds? Many of us will never get to where we truly desire to be, simply because we never tap into our fullest potential! That includes financially! Does that make someone a bad person? No. Does that mean they don’t deserve to love and be loved? No. But you would rather go with little Ray Ray who goes upside your head every chance he gets, disrespects you, cheats on you, lies to you, uses you, manipulates you, all that type of stuff, because he has money? Oh. Ok.
Most of our grandparents were PISS POOR when it came to money, but were extremely wealthy in love and values and respect, oh you know, the things that REALLY MATTER! I see y'all grandparents made it. Their relationships survived the test of time, good and bad, because they knew what truly mattered. I see they had long-lasting, HEALTHY relationships. But as the years have gone by, people have started to be disconnected from that. Not all, but some have. I see more and more broken homes and it’s truly disheartening. “Women” are standing firm on the notion of being independent and not needing a man. “Men” are worried about staying true to bros over hoes. The aftermath of that mentality is a generation of egotistical, selfish, money hungry but still don’t have any money, entitled, refusing to be better, millennials.
It’s crazy how money hungry everyone is, yet so many are still living paycheck to paycheck. It’s crazy how we scream we want a good (wo)man, yet we pass by every single potential partner because they don’t look how we think they should on paper. It’s crazy how we say a person’s character/personality is what really matters, yet we’re turned off by the lack of 6 figures in one’s bank account.
You see me, I would rather be with someone who is genuine, loving, honest, respectful, faithful, romantic, affectionate, understanding, trustworthy, integrous, AND STRUGGLING, than to have a man who has money and lacks the necessary characteristics that make him a good man as MY partner. I want him to possess the qualities that will help to sustain a healthy, loving, honest, respectful, faithful, long-lasting relationship. Can you hold my hand when I'm afraid? Can you encourage me when I feel like I'm ready to throw in the towel on this thing called life? Can you talk to me when I wake up randomly at 4 in the morning and want to talk about the thoughts that are racing through my mind? Can you enjoy running errands with me instead of going on a $300 date? Can we practice songs in the car, even though I can't sing and you'll always be more hype than me? Can you show up when I need you? Can you pray for me? Can you lead me? Can you make me laugh? Can you listen to me when I'm ranting and raving about everything that I'm passionate about? Can you push me to be better, when I'm struggling to see it for myself? That's what real love is about. I've been in situations that were more convenient than loving, because of the money, but that's not real love. Real love isn't always going to be convenient for you. Real love will take dedication, sacrifice, selflessness, effort, patience, hard but worth it work, and so much more.
When we come together, both of us should be encouraging each other to be the best versions of ourselves! You see women add something to a man’s confidence and desire to be better that he just can’t get on his own. When that’s added to his life, the man he was when you first met him won’t even compare to the man he’s grown to be throughout the duration of the relationship you two have. When you have someone who appreciates you and what you do, it’s a natural thing to want to do more. It causes you to go harder in life. Going harder secures the bag! Don't be foolish, love that man/woman in whatever state they are in and y'all build each other up and grow TOGETHER! Grow financially, grow spiritually, grow emotionally, grow physically, grow mentally. Be more open minded about how you get to where you want to be. Trust God to bring you into right relationship with the (wo)man that will have everything you desire and everything that you didn’t know you needed.
Disclaimer: I am NOT saying that these things don't matter: having an income, knowing how to budget, having a savings account, being able to take care of yourself, etc. They do matter!! But, before you write them off, see where they are and what their goals are? What's the plan to get there? Are they open to receiving help, in order to get there? I just mean, look at the WHOLE PERSON and see what qualities they possess in order to create a joyful and loving life with you. When hard times hit, because they will, you have to be able to stand with this person, if it's all about money, that will never happen!