The Boy is MINE
Now see look at you, you just KNEW this was about to be some juicy tale of how I stole somebody's man. WRONG 😒 wrong, and more WRONG! I'm not even about those type of games baby!
Oh and FYI, this is gonna be a lengthy post! I've been holding all of this in for MONTHS now, so bare with me, if you can please. 🤗
What you're actually about to read is how people, mainly "church people", got such a kick out of seeing me talked about, threatened, and disrespected. Not only did they get a kick out of it, quite a few actually joined in and sent "friend requests" (although it wasn't really friendly) to me and my cousins (or is it I and my cousins? Myself and my cousins? 🤷🏽♀️ I don't know but you get what I'm trying to say), just to try to be even more looped in on the "drama". A time where I felt so many things, none of them positive emotions, yet I remained silent. A time where I just knew SOMEBODY, ANYBODY, would speak up and tell the people who were doing it, to stop, or at least that they were dead wrong! But that time never came, at least not publicly, which is how it should have come, given the fact that that's how it was being done to me.
So, it all started because I deleted someone off of Facebook. Yup, you read correctly, because I deleted a GROWN WOMAN OFF OF MY FACEBOOK PAGE.
Let me give you a little background. The girl who started it all, let's call her, hmm, Até, yeah that's what I'll call her. You can look it up if you want, it's a Greek goddess 🙄 so I met Até at church, we worked in ministry together. That's about it, didn't know her outside of church. One day some other girls were like hey why don't we hang out, and from that moment on, called the "group" the "sisters" and would suggest "sister time". Not because a true bond had been formed, simply because that was the name that they came up with. Let the true relationship develop later I guess 🤷🏽♀️🤔 🙄. So you know we would get together talk and laugh and eat, oh and "spilling tea" was common. I can't say that a real relationship of substance was formed because that's not true. Some were closer than others but half didn't even like each other. You see, just because I laugh with you, that doesn't make us friends. You're just funny or have a few funny stories you know. Hey pray for me was thrown around but it was never taken seriously. I knew it wasn't because when I would fall in certain areas and I would be so upset about it, the "sister circle" wasn't laying on their face, they were laughing and asking me how it was (not everyone). Fast forward through more of those and I started to realize something. It was a cute little thing to have but it wasn't real, the relationship wasn't authentic, the pictures didn't tell some great story of overcoming hardships together, it was simply a good time. I also realized I didn't really like Até, didn't like her ways, didn't like how she mistreated people but wanted to be known as this super sweet girl, didn't like how she didn't want correction, so I started to distance myself. You see no bad blood, I just didn't want to be around her because those characteristics that she possessed aren't something I want to possess or condone. She also wasn't too interested in receiving encouragement to be better. We had never hung out one on one so I would just skip "sister time" meet ups, in order to avoid being around Até. I knew I needed to completely disconnect but remained cordial and would respond to messages just because I didn't want to cause any type of "upset" feelings she may experience because she was pregnant. I also knew how she treated people when the connection was severed and I just didn't want to deal with her in that area.
So fast forward some months. She has her baby and about 3 weeks or so later, I noticed something. I noticed that she made a post that was speaking negatively about me. She didn't put my name in the post, but I KNEW it was about me. So instead of acknowledging it and going back and forth with her, I "unfriended" her on Facebook. That makes things easier, you can say what you want and I won't see it and be tempted to give a response. The next thing she did confirmed that my intuition was indeed correct. She messaged me asking why I deleted her. The only reason she knew that was because she clicked on my page, I'm assuming to see if I had made any posts in response to hers. 🤷🏽♀️ So you know I simply explained that I see what she's posting and continuing to be her friend on there is not conducive to where I'm trying to go in life. She then tells me I sound a lot like her ex and to have a blessed life. I respond with a simple, "🤔🤷🏽♀️you too".
Next thing I know, all hell breaks loose. 🙄The world news reports (sike just Facebook) were running wild.
Até then posts, "Man this church shit is phony especially these so called sisters.. Letting a nigga getting in between shit.. Just say you screwing him after your sister had it #postandshareasyoumay 😘😘" (please excuse the explicit language and mistakes in the sentences, I just wanted to make sure my quote was accurate.)
Wow, just wow!
Yet, I remained silent.
You see my issue wasn't that she was upset that I deleted her, it also wasn't that she had whatever notion of me and her "ex". It was how she went about those "feelings", it was the fact that she never asked if it were true or not before posting that (but even if it was true, that's nobody's business and shouldn't be posted to social media), that's where my issue showed up. But you know what her actions did at that very moment? They confirmed that I wanted NOTHING to do with her. My issue went even beyond her as time progressed. It went to, wow, we as "Christians" really can be some of the most hateful people out here!
But you see, things didn't stop at that post. So many people hopped on her page and started bad mouthing me, people I had never seen, even "leadership" and members from my church, as well as other churches, jumped in. 🤦🏽♀️😒 They posted my picture. They threatened me. They lied on me. But see not only me, they threatened my family members, posted one of my cousin's picture (after she messaged Até privately because she saw all of the nasty things being posted about me), address, and had "MEN" threatening to bring harm to her door. Some of them even said they were going to put on "jeans and tennis" and come to our CHURCH and try to fight us.🤔 Now that right there even was a shock to me. I knew the type of people I was dealing with when people had no issue jumping on statuses to attack me, but the total disregard for God, His house, and His people was straight up DISGUSTING to me and that was lower than I expected even those people to stoop. Countless statues were made about me from many different people, most of whom I had never even seen before, let alone met! I even had people wishing that the "ex" would abuse me mentally, emotionally, and physically. Lie after lie after lie was being told on and spread about me. Like you would have really thought I committed some heinous crime the way these people were attacking me.
Yet, I remained silent.
While that whole ordeal was going on, nobody stopped and said, "WAIT, this makes no sense"! You see, it made no sense because she just had a baby. Why wasn't she tending to her newborn baby? Why was she creating all of his drama over an "ex", who mind you isn't the father of that brand new baby I just spoke of, which shows that I didn't "steal" him as it was suggested? She never even asked me what was going on, if anything, with said "ex". She simply asked why I deleted her! NONE OF IT MADE SENSE and nobody connected to her used their good sense to ask her why she was doing that!
As I remained silent, people encouraged me to stay that way. They spoke of how proud of me they were for keeping my composure. Honestly, I didn't care. I wanted to SNAP. I was angry. I was disgusted. I was confused as to how people, God-fearing people, had NO issue mistreating another human being, specifically another believer. How can you people say you love God and treat His child like this!? How can all of you people have children and do this to someone? Especially the ones who complain about their child being picked on in school, now here you go, being a grown BULLY. I wanted to really give these people a piece of my mind and start leaking all of the TRUE things I knew about some of the people who were basically cyber bullying me! But I didn't, I kept quiet, wondered where God was in all of this, and waited for it to be over. That is until a few months later when I grew tired of them talking about me, because YES, it was still going on months later. I had a nasty little exchange with Até where I dropped a few nuggets that I knew about her. Yeah yeah yeah I know, I'm better than that blah blah blah, I'm wrong. I DID NOT CARE! I was tired of it. So I had a human reaction and acted off of my feelings of anger and frustration.
Buuutt of course I felt bad after 🙄 . I knew better. I was better than that. I had done so well not acting ugly all of that time and then that day, I failed that test. So I did what I knew was the right thing to do, I apologized for my actions.
You see, no matter what people do to you or say about you, don't jeopardize your future or your growth, just to show them that you can act just as ugly as they can. I mean let's think about it, why would you want to identify with ANYTHING that is ugly anyway? That's not who and what God created you to be. Do what FLOTUS Michelle Obama said, "when they go low, we go high". But do you know what? If what I went through will help someone else, either so that they don't go through it or I can help them to get through it, then I'm ok with what happened to me.
Before you join in on a conversation talking about someone in such a disgusting and malicious manner, ESPECIALLY on social media, get the facts first. Get the whole story. Well even then, there's no need for you to go around bad mouthing and threatening them, EVER! You never know what people are ALREADY going through and the state of their mental health. Ha that point is actually low key funny to me though. You wanna know why? Well actually not funny, just puzzling because one of the girls, whom I have never met before, who was posting my picture and threatening me and all of that, she recently made a post talking about how important mental health and therapy is and how therapy saved her life... *stops and thinks to myself (and yes, I know you're probably soooo shocked by what I'm about to say)🙄 🤔😒 oh ok. So I wonder, does it only matter when it's her mental health? As long as she's the one delivering the brutal attacks it's ok to possibly cause damage to another person's mental health? Where was her (or anyone else who participated) concern for my mental health because I couldn't find it in any of those posts that were threatening me, bad mouthing me, or where she posted my picture?! NO, that's not ok! It's not ok for her to do it and it's not ok for ANY OF US TO DO IT! That isn't the way you treat people, ever. God says to love your neighbor as yourself. I just thank God I was already in therapy at the time because it definitely helped me to process this whole ordeal and not go off of the deep end. I also, know that you reap what you sow, so I try to only sow good seeds.
You see depression is real. Anxiety is real. Bipolar disorder is real. Schizophrenia is real. Autism is real. PTSD is real. Anorexia is real. There are so many other issues that can plague our mental health. Make sure that you're using your words to help, encourage, and uplift others. Stop letting your tongue be the most deadly weapon that there is. Whether you like someone or not, it costs you NOTHING to NOT cause them any additional pain and suffering! Say things in love or say nothing at all. Remember, Christ died for your sins and that was the greatest gift of love ever, and because of that, it is now your responsibility to love others.